Build your skills in resolving the inevitable conflicts the world will create.
The third choice in the Third Ear Conflict Resolution process is to forgive the world for having and creating conflicts. Conflict is a natural part of living. There will always be conflicts we can’t avoid, but we can choose to see them as learning opportunities and gateways to something better. That’s not always easy to do on our own. The coping skills we developed at earlier times in our lives don’t work everywhere, yet our brains formed patterns that make us default to those behaviors until we form new patterns.
That might sound like brainwashing, which gets a bad rap. In some ways it is a partial washing or rewiring. Your thinking will be challenged, not to punish you or make you feel bad. You’ll be guided to fresh ideas and a broader range of possible solutions. Over time, this self-management and critical thinking will become your new default response to conflict. It’s similar to how you automatically move to where the ball is going, after enough practice fielding grounders in softball. You’ll stop shrieking when the conflict whizzes by. Instead, you’ll move to where you can catch it and determine where it goes next.
Common Conflicts Resolved through Coaching
- Fear of asking for a job, raise, sale, etc.
- Fear of managing diverse workforces
- Ignoring the emotional impact of conflict or trauma
- Postponing the career or business you want
- Saying yes to more than you can handle
Many of my clients come to me because they can’t find the language they need to manage specific conflicts. They want to be more persuasive, but they are afraid they will say the wrong things.
This is not unusual. We’re all a bit unbalanced when we’re confronted with something new–or something we’ve been able to avoid until now.
Let’s plant seeds and grow people, including ourselves. Here are your first seeds:
- You are surrounded by conflict.
- You are resolving it all the time.
- You don’t need to fear conflict.
- You don’t need to be embarrassed that you have it.
- You don’t need to pretend there’s a way to avoid all of it.
Together, we can resolve your instant conflicts. We’ll also build your skills, so you are stopped less often and for shorter periods of time. I’ll give you language. We can role-play difficult conversations. I’ll share a variety of tools custom-selected for you. I won’t give up on you, even when you try to give up on yourself.
You took my “spewing” and pull[ed] it down into a format that makes sense. This is SO helpful to me. You are truly gifted in bringing cohesive thoughts together while adding humor and sweet praise that is personal and meaningful. ~ C.H., Business Owner, PA
Thank you so much for your wonderful insights today. I learn so much from you…and you really are a wonderful coach. ~ N.K., Business Owner, NY
That conversation with you had me realize what I stopped doing that worked for me early in my career, and it is what I really like to do. It brought me at least five new clients and more than $33,000.00. ~ R.B., Business Owner, NY