Often when clients come to me, they don’t know exactly what they need. They think they need a lawyer to protect them from a dishonest employee, a greedy employer, or an oppressive government. There’s a focus on the labels they choose for their adversaries, instead of the behavior that has disrupted a relationship that was once full of possibilities and optimism.
As we talk, it usually becomes apparent that the clients don’t really want to litigate, and they don’t truly believe the other parties to the dispute are evil to the core. They adopted the adversarial position because it helped them finally act on a continuing problem. (See “It’s Easier to Leave a Demon“.) Or someone told them to fight the external demon, not fully understanding the internal ones that have the client handing over their power and feeling victimized. We might resolve the immediate conflict, but the process conjures up the past, self-doubts, and other upper limit challenges. Leaving a client in that condition would go against so much of what drove me to become a lawyer and mediator.
As a former litigant, I remember too well how invasive and stifling the process was. I haven’t forgotten how my former employer tried to use a suicide attempt in my late teens to paint me as unstable and deserving of termination. I have to consciously remind myself how much strength and courage it took for me to create my own stability from a jigsaw puzzle with missing and damaged pieces. I occasionally worry that the attorneys who attacked my credibility were right about me. Then, I look at my life now and see how wrong about me so many people were.
Knowing I have education, experience, and tools that can help my clients reclaim their power, how could I not offer coaching? That seems to be the more compelling question. It is also what drove me to enter Dan Miller’s Coaching Mastery program after coaching the Self-Expression and Leadership Program at Landmark Worldwide.
How We Determine If Coaching is Appropriate
I usually recommend coaching when:
- You are not embroiled in a current dispute with someone else, but you feel stuck in your business or career
- You see some of the same issues arising with employees, bosses, or loved ones but don’t know what you’re doing to attract them
- You are interested in mediating a dispute, but the other party or parties are not
During our initial consultation, we will discuss your biggest challenges right now and how they are keeping you from having the life you want. We will decide together whether coaching is a good idea at this time. I make recommendations, but I want you fully empowered to choose what works for you in any moment. If you are not more free with me, I am not doing my job and it’s unlikely you will be freer with others in your life.
How I Will Coach You
I currently offer three coaching options:
- Breakthrough Package – $300.00
I will help you understand how to use your DISC Personality Assessment to improve your results and resolve current conflicts.
The package includes:
- One DISC Personality Profile and review
- Clear goal setting and a specific, measurable action plan
- Accountability by email
- Optional access to video or audio replays of our sessions*
*We will discuss whether you want to record our sessions. Some clients prefer not to have recordings of the sensitive topics we discuss.
- Level-Up Package – $1,200.00
I will coach you through conflicts with your employees or clients, help you draft internal communications, or role-play conversations about emotionally-charged topics, such as discrimination or sexual misconduct.
The package includes:
- One DISC Personality Profile and review
- Clear goal setting and specific, measurable action plans
- Accountability by email and video
- Optional access to video or audio replays of our sessions*
- Game-Changer Package – $3,000.00
Each team member will complete a DISC Personality Profile and have a one-on-one review with me. Then, I will create a Group Dynamics Report that will be the basis of our half-day training.
This package includes:
- One DISC Personality Profile and review
- Clear goal setting and specific, measurable action plans
- Accountability by email and video for six months
- Optional access to video or audio replays of our sessions*
- A one-hour training for your work group
Results You Can Get from Coaching
I can be a little like a proud mother when I talk about my client successes, but I’ll spare you the three-hour video. Here are some of the favorite results my clients have enjoyed through the work we did together:
- A small business owner overcame his “success guilt” and held his employees to the standards necessary
- Another small business owner learned she didn’t have to be combative to be acknowledged as a strong leader
- A project manager stopped accepting what was offered and started getting what he asked for
- A theatre producer gained confidence in addressing sexual harassment allegations between two of his collaborators and recognized a habit that gets in the way of success in other areas, too
- A family counselor realized her judgment of a client’s personality was causing a breakdown in trust and an impasse in the family
Your results will depend on what is most important to you during the times we work together. Defining conflicts succinctly, discovering your core values, playing with possibilities, and “Staying on PARR” (Planning, Acting, Revising, and Repeating) are part of the process. This leaves us able to adapt to whatever the world throws our way, which is how I want you to be when our work together is done.
Want a do-it-yourself program?
Prefer a little more guidance?
Nance L. Schick, Esq., is a workplace attorney, ethno-religious mediator, and conflict resolution coach based in New York City. Her goal is to keep you out of court and build your conflict resolution skills so everyone has a better work experience. She helps managers and business owners have empowering conversations about emotionally-charged issues such as gender, race, religion, and disability. She is creator of the Third Ear Conflict Resolution process, author of DIY Conflict Resolution, and an award-winning entrepreneur acknowledged by Super Lawyers (ADR, 2018, 2019 & 2020), the New York Economic Development Corporation/B-Labs (Finalist, Best for NYC 2015 & 2016), U.S. Chamber of Commerce (2015 Blue Ribbon Small Business), Enterprising Women Magazine (Honorable Mention, 2014 Woman of the Year awards).