How can someone who loves so much
be so deeply hated?
How can someone with so much conflict resolution training
be unable to communicate
with her own family?
Is there something wrong with me?
Is there something wrong with them?
Or are there just some people
who don’t belong together?
And sometimes they’re family.
Will anyone love me unconditionally?
Does that even exist?
Can I be accepted in a family that loves
when mine is filled with hatred and pain?
Is family all it’s cracked up to be?
Or is it The Art of War alive in civilians?
Are we merely gaming each other
for tiny areas of dominance?
Can we and should we seek
fairer ways of relating?
I am becoming resigned
Maybe I’ve wasted decades,
trying to reconcile people
who are better left separate.
Perhaps I’ve wasted
tens of thousands of dollars
to offer services no one wants.
It might be that
no matter how we try to overcome it,
our amygdala will always win.
Yet I’ve seen the masters resist
our default programming.
And so I persist.
Nance L. Schick, Esq. is a New York City attorney and mediator who focuses on keeping people out of court and building their conflict resolution skills, especially in business and employment disputes. Her holistic, integrative approach to conflict resolution draws from her experience as a crime victim, human resources supervisor, minor league sports agent, and United Nations representative. She is a 2001 graduate of the State University of New York Buffalo Law School trained in Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA), and International Center for Ethno-Religious Mediation (ICERM). She is also creator of the Third Ear Conflict Resolution process, author of DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of a Master, and an award-winning entrepreneur, who has been acknowledged by Super Lawyers (ADR, 2018), the New York Economic Development Corporation/B-Labs (Finalist, Best for NYC 2015 & 2016), U.S. Chamber of Commerce (2015 Blue Ribbon Small Business), Enterprising Women Magazine (Honorable Mention, 2014 Woman of the Year awards), and Urban Rebound NY/Count Me In (Finalist, 2013 Pitch Competition).